Is it just me, or is everyone tired of hearing about Britney Spears? No one this dumb has been this famous since Forrest Gump. When I become President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to declare a one year moratorium on Britney Spears news. I’m pretty sure that if we went a year without Britney news the sun would still continue to rise every day and life, death, and taxes would still go on. I don’t know the exact statistics, but judging by the amount of publicity she has received over the last two years, I would guess that Britney has been married at least six times and hasn’t gone a day without being pregnant. Also, based on the frequency of media reports, I would guess that her many children are constantly in danger of losing their lives based on her stupidity. If she wants to drive down the Santa Monica freeway with her infant child on the roof of her car, feel free to call Child Protective Services, but please don’t put it on t.v. or the cover of every magazine in my supermarket. Unless her next husband is the Pope, I also don’t give a rat’s ass who she is or isn’t married to. The next time Britney goes a day without being married or pregnant you can let me know, because that truly would be news. And if someone could manage to snap a photo of her where she isn’t crying with black mascara running down her face I certainly would appreciate it. For god’s sake someone, get the girl some Prozac and a makeover! The other day I was home watching ABC (All Britney Channel) when they tried to slip in some crazy story about a war in Iraq. How long has that been going on?
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26 comments:
Iraq? What's Iraq? Hilarious post. I actually feel bad for Brittany. I'd bet she doesn't enjoy being in the news just as much as we do. Although, people do love to slow down for a car wreck, don't they.
Brittany???? Brittany who ????
haha ust kidding ..no I do not live under a rock....but part of how you stop hearing about things is to stop listening to things.
Just like most things, soap operas, enquirer, they are out there because the average person has their own problems they do not want to deal with and this stuff is a great diversion. When they see someone elses private lives etc. with problems it helps keep their mind off their own or makes them feel theirs aren't so bad or maybe in some ways makes them feel superior.
For me it just keeps it real that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Britney... Paris... Britney... Paris... Britney... Paris...
(sigh)
Phil,
I just received this email from Brit:
"Why doesn't Phil get me? All I want is to be loved, adored and idolized! Doesn't he realize the world is all about me?"
Just thought I'd pass the message along.
(And to answer yesterday's question: Yes, I have been lurking since the beginning, hee hee)
If only she could gain your approval Phil, then maybe she would stop doing all the things she is so overly publicized doing.
awh, you just posted about the B gal to get your blog count higher by enticing bgooglisious britney searchers into your lil web of funnery.
you never fail to amuse me, tanks.
War in Iraq? WTF? And all this time, I thought Brad and Angelina and Tom and Katie and Britney and K-Fed and Ernie and Bert were all royalty running the USA but not really running it.
Good to know i'm not the only one who gives a fuck.
But did you hear the latest dish on Jessica Simpson?....
Oh! I almost forgot about Paris!
Fuck her too!
Amen!!
Who? A war?? What???!?! There's a baby on a roof!?
(Gosh, living in Canada sure has it's perks!)
Come to New Zealand! We don't hear anything about Brittany over here :) Life can be very very good.
I'm moving to New Zealand...
I caught about 3 minutes of her interview with Matt Lauer the other night while surfing.
He asked her, "Doesn't it bother you that he (her husband) abandoned his last girlfriend when she was pregnant?"
Britney: "No, because we're very happy."
Whoosh. Nothing but net.
She used to be cute. Then she used to be fodder for wet dreams. But she was always tacky, untalented, and stupid. Now that we see these and she is no longer cute or fodder for masturbatory fantasies...we are ready to let her go.
Please someone make her go away!
-N
All I can say is that I'd rather hear about Brit 24/7 than see another postpartum photo of any member of the Jolie Pitt camp. How disgusting. All of it.
OH MY GOD, I HATE her....literally. I hate her. I am so sick of hearing about her...she's TOTALLY a child services mom.
Poor Britney, she is so misunderstood.
Well, Phil, you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you just can't take the trailer park out of the girl. Great post. And, while you're working on it, let's substitute the Iran nuke madness for Angelina and her mediocre talent lapdog, and her brood.
Well, we're not immune to it all down under! It appears there is no escape. I'm just sick to death of her, Paris,jolle/pitt, tomkat, the lot.......who cares!!?
if i was Britney i'd fire my make up artist. waterproof mascara has been around for aeons.
start from the beginng..im sure youll likr what you read...im working on the next part of my story...thanks for stopping by..and dont be shy....
I totally agree ... well said.
Have a great week.
Take care, Meow
WOW! I had no idea Britney was so popular, or so hated. I should write more posts about her! I'm sorry I couldn't respond to everyone's comments on this one. I was away for the weekend. Believe me when I say, I laugh out loud at most of your responses.
Blahaha- I agree. I wouldn't let her in my front door.. total trailer trash... she has bathroom toe for God's sakes!
~Fab
Could the bad mascara and the not so nice outfit (the outfit was not appropriate for a person defending their "wife and motherhood" roles...) be a media ploy....to continue on with the hype and advertisements for exposure?? (glob on some mascara...chomp on chewing gum....) Just like the "quickie" marriage...ratings SLIP....do something "outlandish"?? I seen that interview somewhere...anyway...didn't the interviewer say "weak" and she heard "weep"?? I get to see television so rarely...that when someone has it on I do tend to "zone-in" on the conversations...anyway...when in the public eye you do set yourself up for ridicule...My advice to her....live on your bank account, and stay off the airwaves. Its that simple. Not in a mean way....just dont do interviews etc etc etc and fade away.
Peg
Hysterical! Love it!
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